Housebound (2014) - No More Excuses, Here's A Review!

Yeah, it's been a while.

Real life gets busy.  I have a fun job that keeps me busy and other writing projects that claimed a higher priority.  But I always have a soft spot for this blog and I always said when I return to it, I'd write a review about the phenomenal movie, Housebound.

So here it is.

Housebound is fantastic.  See it as soon as possible.

There you go.

OK, I kid, I kid, but that first sentence really sums up my experience with the movie.  I gush about this New Zealand offering to everyone that will put up with my ramblings.  It really is that good in my book.  If you have Netflix streaming, you can watch it right this second.  If you're able to do that, why are you reading my blog?  Go enjoy yourself then come back and read the review!

Now that you're back, or if you'd rather read this first, let's move on with the write-up.  Housebound comes to us from New Zealand writer and director Gerard Johnstone in his directorial debut.  If you've read my blog before, you know a couple things:  one, I try not to put in spoilers especially if they're integral to the plot and two, I like movies that have a kind of lively energy.  Bearing those points in mind, I'll provide a short summary without spoilers and I'll begin by saying Johnstone's film crackles with lively energy.

It's the story of a less-than-social petty criminal named Kylie (Morgana O'Reilly) who is placed under house arrest in her childhood home.  Her mother, Miriam (Rima Te Wiata) and her stepfather Graeme (Ross Harper) still live there.  Miriam believes the house is haunted and strange things do indeed happen.  Amos (Glen-Paul Waru) is a police officer assigned to Kylie and is intrigued enough that he wants to help, citing his fascination with the paranormal.  Kylie's social worker, Dennis (Cameron Rhodes) remains skeptical.  Kylie becomes increasingly convinced something is haunting the house and with Amos' help, begins to uncover clues about the house's sordid past.  At this point, I can't go on without spoiling the movie even a little bit and this is one I would hate to spoil.

Needless to say, everything about this movie clicks.  O'Reilly is phenomenal as the tough girl who truly loves her family and loves a mystery almost as much.  Each character stands out, bringing a piece to the story.  The story itself bobs and weaves like a boxer, hitting you with comedy on one side and tense suspense on the other.  The comedy works so well because of how it's presented:  we may be laughing at what's happening but the characters are terrified.  The movie is meant to be funny but it's not forced.  It's really a true balance between horror and comedy with great amounts of mystery thrown in.

After the movie ended, I immediately went on Amazon and ordered the Blu-ray.

For me, Housebound is the best horror movie I've seen this year so far, sharing a top spot with - oddly enough - another horror-themed comedy (What We Do In The Shadows).  I enjoy all sorts of movies and all sorts of horror subgenres, but I always enjoy an incredibly well-made film that is just plain fun.

And now, as per usual, here's the trailer:

Capsule Reviews Because I Got Lazy...Again

Yeah, I know.

I've got to be better with this thing.  I go through prolific streaks and dry spells, so chalk this most recent "sabbatical" (read: laziness) as a "dry spell."

In the meantime, I've seen a few movies.  Well, more than a few.  Some good, a couple great, and a stinker here and there.  I'm going to get to the capsule review in a moment, but let me first wish everyone a VERY belated Happy New Year.  Not a lot of changes here at the WGON Helicopter just yet, but I'm going to make a few as the year rolls on.  I'll be changing the look of the place, I'll be doing more interviews as they arise, I'm going to not be as dry in my "tone," and I'll bring some special features back as well as introduce new ones like something about re-watching movies.  Haven't decided what I'll call it yet but the year's still young.

So let's get to the movies, shall we?

Contracted - High hopes for this movie but low returns, in my opinion.  Look, I love swiss cheese but I don't need that many holes in my films.  The premise is great:  girl has drugged sex with a random guy who is definitely hiding something.  As time progresses, she becomes sicker and sicker in ways that will make you gag.  Interesting take on the zombie genre that just had too many moments of "wait, would someone actually do that?"  Lots of poor decision-making by the characters (despite some decent acting) that lead to several head-shakes.

The Damned - Not the 70's and 80's horror punk/new wave band, but an atmospheric and interesting movie that provides a decent feeling of dread.  A family (headed by Peter Facinelli - I know, I know he's in that sparkly vampire movie series but he was also outstanding in Can't Hardly Wait so it balances out) and some friends are stranded during a flood in Colombia.  They hole up in a closed hotel with two residents, one of which is a young girl trapped in a box in the basement.  What follows is possession, mayhem, and family drama.  It wasn't horrible but also not great.

Housebound - I'm going to take a second here and proclaim that I will save this movie for a full review.  This movie and I have become best friends.

The Remaining - This is what happens when I don't do my research.  I thought this might be a new foray into survival horror.  What was a promising premise - a group of friends try to survive after the Rapture - descends quickly into heavy-handed preaching.  All it needed was for Kirk Cameron to show up and lecture us about something.  Fortunately, he didn't and that was a plus.  Also, the effects were kind of neat.

ABC's Of Death 2 - The first movie pushed some uncomfortable boundaries (L is for Libido), had some serious WTF moments (F is for Fart), and some incredible short films packed with goodness (D is for Dogfight).  The second entry seemed more solid to me.  Once again, the 26 (and a half, if you count the end credits scene) short films for each letter of the alphabet ranged in taste, style, humor, gore, and creepiness.  Also, I'm a big Mighty Boosh fan, so it was good seeing Julian Barrett have an entry.  Highlights:  A is for Amateur, G is for Grandad, K is for Knell, M is for Masticate, R is for Roulette, W is for Wish.  X is for Xylophone will make you squirm.  S is for P-P-P-P SCARY! is an absolute WTF head trip.

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Soap opera veteran Jill Larson turns in a stunning performance as an Alzheimer's patient that may be suffering from possession in this very good found footage film.  It was tense with its scares providing quality over quantity; each scare means something and didn't feel forced. An interesting mystery as well, it was a pleasant surprise while touching on a sensitive subject.  You honestly feel for Deborah and her family as something takes her over.

Dead Snow 2:  Red vs. Dead - The first Dead Snow was kinetic craziness in the vein of Raimi's Evil Dead movies.  Tommy Wirkola continues the madness as the lone survivor from the first film is "reunited" with the undead Nazi commander in a hilarious way.  I mean "reunited" quite literally.  The character enlists the help of American zombie hunters (led by Martin Starr of Freaks and Geeks) and long-buried Soviet troops with a literal bone to pick with the Nazis.  Insane fun that doesn't stop with cringe-worthy moments.

The Purge:  Anarchy - I wasn't the biggest fan of the first one.  I don't know.  Good premise but it just didn't catch me.  Maybe I more disappointed than anything.  The sequel, however, was more solid in my eyes.  The Purge Night is back but the viewer gets to follow several characters who eventually come together to try and survive the night, with only one being out willingly to avenge the accidental death of his son.  We get more of a peek into this alternate reality and I found it more interesting.

The Canal - This taut little Irish flick follows a man who discovers his beloved wife is having an affair.  When she goes missing, he's the prime suspect but is convinced there is something evil in his house.  Did he do it?  Is he innocent?  Is there really something in his house?  Everything keeps you guessing in this pretty good mystery.

The Atticus Institute - A modern mockumentary about a 1970's scientist (played by the underrated William Mapother) who tries to harness the thing possessing a woman.  When the U.S. Army steps in to try and weaponize the woman and the force inside her, things don't end well.  It's a well-made look at what may or may not have been a real thing back in the old Cold War days.  Quite scary in parts and interesting, I really enjoyed it.

Well, there you go for what it's worth.  My thoughts on a wide range of movies.  I saw several more but I thought I'd start with these.  I will get to a full review of Housebound next because I honestly can't say enough good about that movie.

Until next time, watch the skies!

V/H/S: Viral (2014) Held Together With Spit and Wire

I'm telling you, I was really hoping for more from V/H/S: Viral.  I like the whole found footage anthology bit and having the franchise populated with short films from talented up-and-coming directors.  The trailer looked wild.  Everything was in place.  Still, I came away from it not quite satisfied.  Kind of like when I eat at Taco Bell.  I like some of the parts but as a whole, I'm wondering what I just ate.

Like the previous two V/H/S films (which I reviewed here and here), this one is split into smaller stories bound by a wraparound narrative.  The wraparound in this case is called "Vicious Circles," and is directed by Marcel Sarmiento, who helmed my favorite entry in the first ABC's of Death movie, "D is for Dogfight."  The wraparound kicks off the narrative of a video-fame-obsessed young man chasing a strange ice cream truck in the middle of a police chase.  Seems the truck has somehow kidnapped his girlfriend and as the chase progresses, we're privy to some of the videos apparently broadcasting from the truck.  Much like the first two films, the videos are cursed and in this case, are affecting people on a wider scale.

The first film within a film is called "Dante the Great," directed by Gregg Bishop, who directed the wonderful Dance of the Dead.  Now this one tells the story of redneck amateur magician Dante (the always-good Justin Welborn) who somehow gets a hold of a mysterious cloak that gives him incredible powers.  Of course, like any good boy will do, he uses them for fame and fortune.  Unfortunately, he also uses those powers to feed the beast inside the cloak.  Not tacos, sadly, but a few of his assistants.  Things come to a head when one of his assistants decides to fight back.

I'll just go ahead and say that the second entry was my favorite.  Nacho Vigalondo's "Parallel Monsters" is a seriously creepy what-if.  In this case, it's "what if you opened a portal into a parallel universe at the same time your parallel self did?"  As the protagonist explores the other world, it becomes apparent that the term "parallel" doesn't really fit.  The word should be "opposite."  I mean, really opposite.  As a huge fan of stories about parallel and alternate universes, the details really made my skin crawl.  There is a distinct "Twilight Zone" vibe to the story, but that's really what's the heart of these movies.  They're a modern-day, bloodier horror homage to Rod Serling's series.

Finally, there's "Bonestorm," which would be a freakin' AWESOME name for a metal band, about a group of delinquents filming skating videos in a place where they shouldn't.  Heading to Mexico, they accidentally disturb an evil cult's "unholy ground" and end up filming their struggle for survival.  The effects in this segment directed by Aaron Moorehead and Justin Benson are pretty snazzy and the kinetic camerawork conveys the panic of the moment.  Still, I just couldn't find any sympathy for the characters based on their mostly jerky actions throughout the setup.

I really would've like to have seen the missing segment, Todd Lincoln's "Gorgeous Vortex," which is apparently quite good based on reports of those who have seen it.  It might have tied the movie together a little more tightly.  The wraparound is on the right path here, but something is missing.  I don't know; maybe slightly more narrative or a brighter thread that weaves the stories into the same overall story.

"Parallel Monsters" was definitely my favorite of the bunch for its inherent creepiness and WTF factor. "Dante the Great" wasn't far behind simply because it's the most fun.  I wanted it to be better, and V/H/S 2 was on an uphill trajectory.  Despite being a little disappointed in this installment, I do hope the franchise continues as it is a great showcase for talent deserves a wider audience.

Now, let's see what VHS tapes I have in my storage bin...wait, I've never seen this one before...

In A Movie World With Evil Ghosts? Here Are Must-Have Supplies To (Mostly) Guarantee Your Survival

I'm always going to have a soft spot for the walking dead/shuffling revenant/bitey zombie.  Dawn of the Dead (the 1978 version) is my favorite horror film and Shaun of the Dead is one of my all-time favorites in any genre.  I won't dispute that zombie movies have become a bit "played out," but I don't ever want them to go away.  When the nice people at Man Crates - a gifts for men company that delivers a grab bag of goodies in a honest-to-goodness crate - came calling, I was more than happy to answer their challenge:  list a few things one would need in order to survive in a horror film.  Well, naturally, my weird little brain gravitated toward zombies first - a natural reflex, I'd say.  But then I thought I'd try something a little different and go with another subgenre of horror that I love:  the ghost movie.  I'm partial to ghost films from Japan or Korea, but I'm not going to play favorites.  If it's a scary ghost, I'm digging it.

Yeah, ghosts tend to be intangible except when they need to be all angry and poltergeisty.  There's not a lot to do to ultimately protect yourself because hey, you've seen Ringu or Ju-On, right?  Those ghosts are like spooky little juggernauts that spread like viruses or horrific LIVING IDEAS!  Sorry, I've been reading a lot of Grant Morrison again.  Hopefully, what I can impart to you might save you if your buddy tells you to "watch this cursed tape" or "let's move into a cursed house."

A powerful flashlight - Hey, kids, light up a dark room before going in!  Confuse the ghosts!  Never not know where you're going!  You walk into a room and you can't see everything?  Stand in the doorway, hit the mini-floodlight in your hand, and do a complete sweep.  Look at the ceiling to see if there is any splashes of blood or hair hovering up there.  Check under any furniture.  Look in the corners twice.  Then maybe go in.

Research notes - Provided you aren't in a ghostly place by accident, do a little research about the history.  Home of a former serial killer who took the term "asshat" a little too literally?  Find out.  You'll need to know these things.

Super-lost in Grave Encounters.

Blueprints - This really only applies if you know the haunted house you're going into.  Get a floor plan and map out an escape route.  Prop the front door open in case there are bars on the window.  Clear the hallways as you go.  Always know where you are.  Yeah, I know that some houses might end up like the endless hallways of the asylum in Grave Encounters.  If that happens, you can use the blueprints to cry into.

Mirror - Give that ghost a taste of its own medicine.  Who knows, maybe they need to face facts and realize they're scaring the bejeezus out of everyone.

More than one cellphone - Oh, no, the cellphone you're using just cut out?  The ghost struts off triumphantly, warming up for an escalating series of scares, not knowing you have a backup in your pocket.  Call for help and power-walk to the front door.

Attitude - Even if you're the nicest person in the world, develop a tough attitude that tells the ghost you're not going to be that easy.  I'm not saying be a douche.  Douches tend to meet rather unsightly ends in these movies.  I'm saying laugh at the ghost, be sarcastic ("Oooo, I'm so terrified!"), give the specter the middle finger with both barrels.  It's said that the evil ghosts will feed off fear.  Don't show any.

Anti-attitude - On the flip side, maybe all the ghost needs is some understanding and a hug.  Probably not, though.

Horror film knowledge - I think the most knowledgeable people that could survive a horror film are those who know them inside and out.  It's not a guarantee but they're going to know not to watch that tape or go into that house or party on that grave.  Watch a lot of them and get to know your adversary!

Adult diapers - This should be pretty obvious.

Thank you, Saturday Night Live.

Well, I hope I helped a bit.  You may not have good odds against ghosts and living curses but maybe now you'll have a fighting chance.

Thanks to Man Crates for reaching out to me to have some fun with a list that really got me thinking and also got me wanting to revisit some old favorites.

Time permitting, I'll be back next time with a special Halloween edition!

Dead Alive (aka Braindead) (1992) Early Peter Jackson Insanity

A Sumatran rat-monkey.  A domineering mother-monster.  A kung-fu priest.  A delinquent's entrails that have a life of their own.  A cheery demon baby.  A lawnmower shield.

All this and lots more is what you'll find in one of Peter Jackson's early films, the energetic cult classic known as Dead Alive here on our side of the world, and Braindead everywhere else.  You may know Jackson as the high-powered director behind the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies of recent years.  He's won Academy Awards, produced several huge hits, and is generally one of the most well-known directors in the modern era.  But before all that, Jackson cut his teeth on wacky, blood-splattered craziness like this movie, or his first feature film, Bad Taste.  This was the first Peter Jackson movie I ever saw, and it remains near and dear to my heart.

Taking place in Jackson's native New Zealand during the 50's, the story follows sad-sack mama's boy Lionel (Timothy Balme) as he balances falling for a local gypsy girl, Paquita (Diana Peñalver), and following his mean mom's wishes and commands.  When mommy dearest is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey and dies, things get a little bit crazy.  Old Vera reanimates as a blood-crazed zombie, turning a gang of ne'er-do-wells and her own nurse into ghouls like her.  Even the local priest, who put the beatdown on the zombie gang while delivering one of the best lines of dialogue ever ("I kick ass for the LORD!"), is eventually turned as well.  Poor Lionel has to keep the monsters hidden in his basement and deal with his lecherous Uncle Les, who wants the house for himself.  Before long, Les throws a rockin' party and Lionel tries to sever ties with his mother by using what he thinks is poison to kill her once and for all.  Unfortunately, the poison turns out to be what equates to super-steroids for animals and the zombie outbreak is seriously on.  The party degenerates into one of THE most gory, insane, and manic sequences in the history of film.  Seriously, Dead Alive is still considered one of the goriest movies ever made.

Still, the gore is played for laughs, and after a while, it becomes less "gore" and more "slapstick."  All those weird things I mentioned in the beginning are there.  What happens when two infected zombies have "relations"?  A demon baby that Lionel actually takes for a day out in a way to return to normalcy. 

Balme's Lionel is a hero who grows through the movie, and it's not hard to cheer for the guy.  Paquita gives him enough confidence to cut the umbilical cord...among a few other things.  The movie is absolutely in-your-face, wild, and energetic with kinetic camera angles, quick editing, and a narrative that never slows down.

Dead Alive is a favorite among horror fans, always thought of with a smile or a chuckle.  It's definitely horror, but the comedy shines through alongside its darker genre cousin seamlessly.  If you have a weak stomach, yeah, you might have a little trouble with things like Lionel's lawnmower shield among many other things.  But the movie's hilarious and drive-in-style fun, as well as being a bit of a history lesson about one of the world's top directors.

Until next time, don't visit the Sumatran rat-monkey at your local zoo...

Stitches (2012) A Party Clown's Revenge

I like it when a movie surprises me.

Sometimes late at night, I roll through Netflix and see what's out in the ether.  Stumbling across this oddball British-Irish horror comedy about an undead clown seeking revenge on a kid after being killed at a birthday party, I really wasn't expecting much.  But strangely enough, I ended up pleasantly surprised by the gory slapstick intentional cheese-fest that was Stitches.

Director Conor McMahon seems to be following the Peter Jackson path of starting off a career by turning grant money into bloody splashes of manic-comic theater.  You see a little inspiration from Jackson's early offerings like Bad Taste and Dead Alive, where over-the-top gore leans more toward the humorous.  Stitches doesn't take itself too seriously, offering up a wild premise, stereotypical-and-we-know-it characters, and circus-themed dispatching of those characters.

So it goes like this:  Stitches (comedian Ross Noble in his film debut) is a local clown hired to perform at young Tom's birthday party.  Tom isn't such a bad kid, but his friends range from somewhat to extremely obnoxious.  They taunt Stitches who, admittedly, isn't a very good clown.  The taunting takes a tragic turn when an accident the kids cause leaves Stitches with a huge kitchen knife through his eye into his skull.  The night of Stitches' funeral, Tom stumbles across a strange ritual as clowns honor their comrade.  Years later, it's Tom's (Tommy Knight of The Sarah Jane Adventures) 17th birthday, and he has a pretty understandable fear of clowns.  He's anxious and rather wimpy but his friends want to throw him a blowout, even though he's unsure.  The party includes all his friends from the original party, as well as his longtime crush, Kate (Gemma Leigh Devereux).  Before too long, though, an unwanted party guest makes his grand return:  Stitches, resurrected by some strange magic the clown cult instilled.  Stitches arrives and takes out each of the teenage partygoers from years before in sickeningly creative and often hilarious ways.  Brain scoop, balloon pump, umbrella - so weird, yet so Peter Jackson-ish.  It's then up to Tom and Kate to figure out a way to send Stitches back to Hell - or wherever undead clowns go.

Stitches is a rousing debut for Noble, who nails it in his first film.  He's snappy and slovenly, spouting 80's-style one-liners usually associated with supernatural killers.  "He had to...head off." "Now that's...food for thought."  Stitches is a killer clown, to be sure, and we've seen many of those, good ones and not-so-good.  But obviously, this film doesn't take things too seriously and just wants to tell a funny, wildly splattered tale of redemption for one kid and the ability to make intestine balloon animals for one not-quite-dead clown.

So make sure you treat that clown at a kid's party right.  Put away those knives and don't let your kids be obnoxious.

Until next time, here's the trailer:

The Den (2013) Always Look Both Ways When Crossing The Internet

You know how the Internet is a place where good people can get in touch with other good people and talk about good, innocent things and respect each others' opinions and lives?

I know, I know, but bear with me...

Well, 2013's The Den features the complete opposite side of that dream Internet.  In fact, if you want to teach a lesson about being safe online, this would practically be a documentary.  With the wackiness of sites like Chatroulette and Omegle, you just never know what you're going to get in the online box of cyber-chocolate.  The Den says, "okay, let's show you what happens when you pierce the dark underbelly.  Hire a maid because things are about to get messed up."

It's a pretty straightforward story at first:  doctorate student Elizabeth (Melanie Papalia) sets up an account on a website called The Den in order to study how humans interact when given freedom online.  The results are predictably unpredictable.  Along with friendly people, she meets oddballs, wannabes, and perverts.  One girl, who won't turn on her camera, sends her cryptic messages as well as threats to her friend who is sharing the computer one day.  Strange things happen on Elizabeth's computer as it become clear that she's been hacked, although she doesn't see it at first.  It's when she witnesses the apparent murder of the formerly camera-less girl that things take a swan dive into the crazy pool.  From there, it becomes a fascinating and frustrating mystery for Elizabeth to solve...if she should.

Did I mention the entire movie is filmed as video feeds from various sources like Elizabeth's computer or surveillance cameras?

It's an interesting and intense take on the rapidly-filling-to-capacity found footage genre.  It moves along quickly and with enough of a variety of video sources to keep the narrative fresh.  Director Zachary Donahue, who also wrote the film, turns in a fine example of thinking a little outside the box and didn't go the "we're making a documentary" route.  Papalia is outstanding as a curious then utterly frightened Elizabeth, bringing range and charisma to the role.  Essentially, she is quite often a one-woman show who's only required to react to what she sees on a screen in many scenes.  In an era when so many people are exposed on the web - figuratively and literally - this is an urban legend of our time.  What if you're being watched?  What if things are happening without your knowledge?  What if?

It's a crazy movie.  I remember thinking, "That was messed up" as the credits rolled.  Truth be told, "messed" wasn't the actual word I used, but modesty prevails.  After a spate of so-so films that I haven't reviewed yet, The Den was rather refreshing.

Like a day on Facebook with no political ranting.

Surf safe, everyone - until next time, here's the trailer: