Trollhunter (2010) Norway Has A Giant Pest Problem

You have a problem with cockroaches or ants, maybe mice or termites?  It should be easy to find an exterminator in the yellow pages or online.  You have a problem with trolls knocking down your trees or eating your livestock?  Might be a little more difficult.  But if you live in the more remote regions of Norway, you just might be able to get some help from a troll hunter.  Getting a hold of him, however...that's another story.  You're probably going to have to deal with the enormous pests on your own.  But if you get a camera, you could film it and put it on the big screen, a plot device central to the wacky offering from Norway, Trollhunter (aka Trolljegeren).

I say "wacky" because honestly, this is a film about trolls.  Not dinosaurs, not overgrown Sasquatches, not Blair Witches.  Trolls.  There's the potential there for this to really fall flat on its celluloid face.  And yet it never does.  It maintains a deadpan expression as it presents the possibility of these mythical, semi-humanoid, giant creatures as being real.  It's tongue-in-cheek, yet never becomes a parody of itself.

Filmed in "found footage" style (although written and directed by André Øvredal), a bunch of college filmmakers set out to make a documentary about an area of Norway that is suffering from a rash of bear attacks and get wind of a poacher named Hans (Otto Jespersen).  He's a odd sort of fellow and the film crew grows more intrigued with him, making several attempts to interview him.  One night, they follow him into the deep woods only to be caught in the middle of a troll hunt, leading to a frightening confusion that leaves the students' vehicle destroyed and their leader, Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud) bitten.  Hans finally relents and allows the students to follow him as he does his thing, and they're made aware of a deeper conspiracy regarding these mythical creatures.  Hans allows it as he's done doing the government's dirty work, possessing scars that run deep about his role in the co-existence of humans and trolls.  The film crew continues to follow Hans as he hunts down the source of the recent bold migration of various trolls, one gigantic troll that may actually be rabid.

Rabid trolls.  It's actually scary if you think about it.

Trollhunter is alternately serious and straight-faced funny but doesn't make the difference between the two over-wrought.  The trolls themselves are pretty sweet effects, especially as you get towards the end of the film.  The ending has the same problem that most found-footage films have in that it seems like they're not quite sure how to end it and on what note.  It's fine for what it is, but the ending didn't leave me breathless or laughing or wanting more.  Jespersen, the very controversial Norwegian comedian, plays Hans very understated and as I described before, scarred.  He's been through some things you don't expect, and is ready to retire...or something more permanent.

It's a fun movie...not really a game-changer, but something of a blast nonetheless.  I'll tell you, Norway is really making some waves in the horror genre (and with monsters, this can be classified as horror) with this and the energetic zombie film, Dead Snow.  Should be interesting to see what comes out of Scandinavia next.

Until next time, friends, be glad there aren't zombie trolls...yet.

In The Helicopter Bay 10-15-10

* So not only am I flying the WGON helicopter, trying to herd what's left of civilization into acceptable shelters, I'm finding a great deal of my time taken up by being a school librarian. There are going to be times where my posts are pretty sparse, but I will continue to throw my thoughts at the Inter-webs wall and see what sticks. Hopefully, I'll entertain and titillate, even if on some occasions, I'm just talking to myself.

* An interesting tidbit: during one of my assignments, I asked the middle school students to look up their favorite movie on the Internet Movie Database and jot notes down to answer general questions I provided (note-taking is part of the library curriculum...sometimes you have to be sneaky to get them to work on assignments). The movie that just about half of them listed as their favorite? The first Paranormal Activity movie, fully released last year. Many of them cited that it...and I quote..."almost made me pee my pants." Ah, youth.

* Anyone else excited to see what the film Monsters has to offer?


* It's no secret, I love t-shirts. Be sure to check out the great designs they have over at Fright Rags. Recently, they had a shirt created for Breast Cancer Awareness, but the link doesn't seem to work at this time. Plus, Crazy Dog t-shirts is having a sale, $5 off Halloween shirts on their site with the code HALLO5 through Halloween - there's even a t-shirt I didn't even know existed featuring the WGON logo from the original Dawn of the Dead, so you know I'll be checking that one out.

* This weekend, I'll be catching up on some movies to review. Not sure how good they'll be, but hey, that's part of the fun.

...And that's all for now, my friends. Keep hiding from the undead and shine a flashlight up into the night sky. I'll get to you momentarily.

The Cave (2005) - I Was Due For A Snoozer

After white-knuckling it through four amazing French extreme films where the bar for cinematic tension was raised to new levels for me, I knew the adrenaline high wouldn't last forever. I was due for a rest stop, the movie equivalent of a light snooze, and with 2005's The Cave, I found it.

I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to see this movie, really. It might have been for (unfair) comparisons to The Descent, which is similar in that it takes place in a cave and there is pursuit by ugly little things. It might have been the fact that the idea of being trapped underground - or worse in an underground body of water - is truly frightening to me on levels I can't imagine. It might have been the fact that Piper Perabo is in the movie, and that was all I needed.

She's in this movie? Fine, I'll give it a chance.

I'll address those right now: The Descent is the superior movie between these, and they really shouldn't be compared as they're two different films altogether...I'll mention my total letdown in the tension department later...and yes, Piper Perabo played a major part in my choosing this movie. There, I admit it.

The Cave was directed by Bruce Hunt and has admittedly what I thought would be a great cast: Cole Hauser (Dazed and Confused), Morris Chestnut (the recent "V" remake), Eddie Cibrian ("CSI: Miami"), Daniel Dae Kim ("Lost"), and the aforementioned Miss Perabo (Coyote Ugly) among others. It was an interesting cast, and I thought there would be some diverse acting styles and dialogue, but...I don't know.

The plot is pretty basic: group goes into cave, gets trapped, picked off one by one by darkness-dwelling creatures. Thank you, good night! Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses.

That said, the recap might be a bit short so maybe I'll spice it up. To start, we're treated to a prologue which sees a group of cavers in the Carpathian Mountains enter an old abbey to explore the cave network below it. Well, less enter than blow a hole in the floor that swallows them up. Oh, and sets of an avalanche from the mountain behind the abbey, which obliterates the church. I guess one of the things this expedition forgot was a demolition expert. That's "expert."

Cut ahead about 30 years and your typical old college professor Dr. Nicolai (Vlad Radescu) along with his associate Kathryn (Lena Headey) explore the site as they are among a group of scientists who believe there's an entirely undiscovered ecosystem in the vast network of caves. They hire Jack and his crack team of battle-hardened superheroes. Okay, well, they're not superheroes, and they're not really battle-hardened. In fact, they are all quite pretty. For a roll call, we've got leader Jack (Hauser), his brother the hot-headed Tyler (Cibrian), rock climber Charlie (Perabo), survival guy Top (Chestnut), scout Briggs (Rick Ravanello), and sonar mapper Strode (Kieran Darcy-Smith). The final piece in the cannon fodder puzzle is photographer Alex (Dae Kim). They're confident and excited to head into the cave system. I mean, wouldn't you be if it was as WELL LIT as this one was? Sigh.

Piper is concerned that I have mentioned her far too often in this blog.

Well, anyway, Briggs scouts ahead, finds them a second base camp and encounters some of the local wildlife: a fearsome naked mole that looks like a scab with legs. Maybe "fearsome" is not the word. Let's try "adorable." Communications cut off and everyone is worried that the moles have, I don't know, tickled Briggs to death. They set off to the new base camp. On the way there, group genius Strode is distracted by some underwater creature that snakes by him. I've seen pictures of moray eels. I don't want to chase one under a mile of rock in some subterranean death trap. Thankfully, these tunnels are so WELL LIT. Strode surfaces to find half-eaten cave moles and another larger, toothier creature which decides he is more the cut of meat it wants. In his dying throes, Strode manages to let his whatever-they're-called, water scooter, loose to crash and explode against the cave walls. The resulting rockslide effectively traps the party.

Looking for a way out, Jack encounters a nest full of albino scorpions (which were actually pretty badass) and another of the bigger, meaner creatures. He manages to escape, but he's scratched up pretty badly. Now they know they're up against something the Knights Templar apparently battled centuries ago, according to local legend. Supposedly demons, but some scientific research tells a different story. Kathryn discovers an aggressive parasite on the claw Jack cut off his attacker, and also on some regular ol' wildlife. As they search for a way out, Jack is feeling the effects of the scratches: he's erratic, his senses are kicked up a notch. He's...changing. In one of the few cool touches of the movie, his pupils take on a star-like shape. Kathryn gets it: he's changing into one of the creatures. They aren't simply evolved monsters. They're the previous expedition! "How?" you ask, so anxiously I can sense it. Simple: it's the parasite. It mutates living things to adapt rapidly to living in any environment. Wow, I hope these things don't get out of their WELL LIT home.

On their way down a keen water slide to another underwater lake, Dr. Nicolai gets hung up on some rocks. The guy can't even body surf down a water slide, for crying out loud. He's like some kid getting stuck on the carpet slide at the local fair. Two things I kept waiting for during the water slide scene: a sad trombone for Dr. Nicolai and One-Eyed Willie's ship from The Goonies at the bottom. I was deprived of both.

Nicolai finally tumbles to the bottom somehow, and is immediately set on by a demon-thing with a tattoo, confirming that this is the expedition from the beginning. Jack tries to save him, but to no avail. They get to dry land and decide the best way out is up a sheer cliff. The team's not trusting Jack since he's acting a bit too dodgy. Charlie takes it upon herself to climb since she is, after all, the best climber of the bunch.

Aw, crap.

At the top, she encounters one of the creatures and it attacks, but she manages to tumble out and down before saving herself. In one of the more badass scenes of the movie - and not because of my obvious Piper Perabo bias - Charlie makes like Batgirl and holds her own against the flying monstrosity. She even manages to set it on fire, but only at the cost of her own life. What? I was outraged - how dare they do...then I realized it was a movie, and paused it so I could get a Pepsi.

Charlie's death pisses off the team, and the trust in Jack is split. Jack, Tyler, and Top head off to find a sure way out. They gracefully (sarcasm intended) make their way down an ice vein which leads to a room full of methane fire fountains and sharp rocks. It looks like Hell, so I think this was supposed to be symbolism, but I can't be sure. An attempt at symbolism, maybe. The rest of the team joins them, sort of. Briggs is captured and impaled on some rocks while Kathryn and Alex make it to the methane fart cave. During the final battle, Alex is caught and eaten but we know he'll be back on February 2 with the season premiere of "Lost" on ABC. Check your local listings.

In order to help the others get out, Jack climbs a rock column to retrieve a rebreather the creatures stole. He's pretty far gone at this point, but manages to hold off the creatures while the others escape. Tyler, Top, and Kathryn are the only ones to make it back out into the fresh air.

Cut forward a few days, I guess, it's not really clear. Kathryn warns Tyler that the parasite may not just adapt to underground life, but life anywhere. She smooches Tyler, then reveals that her eyes have that same star pattern Jack's had. When realization hits Tyler, he pursues her, but Kathryn disappears into the crowd. The film ended, and I felt nothing.

That was the problem: I felt nothing. With the recent slew of beautifully intense films, this film was just the opposite. Never once did I feel that sense of claustrophobic dread of being trapped underground. The caves were too spacious and too...sing it with me...WELL LIT. There is no sunlight down there, and how are their flashlights and flares so able to create such a romantic ambiance? It should look like the geological version of [REC] down there. The tunnel scene in Frontier(s) was infinitely more intense and frightening than anything in The Cave. The dialogue and script was so minimal and straightforward, it allowed for little emotion and too much deadpanning of language. People should be freaking out, but there was an abundance of macho posturing. It wasn't intense, it wasn't scary, and I wasn't convinced I should care.

That said, I didn't hate this movie. Really, I didn't. It was just very easy to pull a Mystery Science Theater 3000 with this one, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Maybe next time I expect one to be not quite as good as others, I'll live-Tweet it. Could be fun if people want to read that.

Thanks for reading, and to those voting my blog up and following this blog on Google, I'm glad you're along for the ride and a big thanks for the support. You make it fun.

OK, back to the shelter - remember, that hungry, gnawing thing outside your door isn't who you think it is anymore.