A solid eighteen inches of snow fell here during the night. I knew work would be canceled. I knew that after some shoveling, I would be sealed in for the day. There was no doubt in my mind I was going to sit and watch House on Haunted Hill. I was in the mood for something classic, something with Vincent Price, and something I knew I'd love. So as the sun set and I prepared to get back to the grind the next day, I propped up some pillows and kept the lights off.
House on Haunted Hill came along during a time when gimmicks were called "gimmicks," and not "viral advertising." I admit that a lot of today's viral tricks and such can be quite creative: fake websites (Cloverfield), vinyl albums by a fake band (Fringe), and countless others. But back in the 50's, you couldn't just jump on the Internet. Computers were the size of rooms anyway. Legendary producer-director William Castle took what can be classified as a simple locked-room murder mystery, added some supernatural touches, created a classic gimmick for the film, and made it on a shoestring budget. Castle's been called a king of B-movies, but he made quality films full of meat and substance.
It's the story of a wealthy couple, Frederick and Annabelle Loren (Vincent Price and Carol Ohmart), who throw an expensive party for a group of strangers in a reputedly haunted house. Frederick and Annabelle aren't the picture of married bliss, however. They repeatedly trade barbs that seem jaunty and bored on the outside, but mask a true hatred for one another. The strangers come from all walks of life: a handsome test pilot, Lance (Richard Long); a pretty but easily rattled secretary, Nora (Carolyn Craig); a no-nonsense psychiatrist, Dr. Trent (Alan Marshal); a gambling gossip columnist, Ruth (Julie Mitchum); and an alcoholic, fearful man, Watson (Elisha Cook), who once spent a horrible night in the house. They apparently don't know each other, or the Lorens, but there they are, ready to spend eight hours in a deadly house for $10,000 apiece. Why they are there is anybody's guess.
It doesn't take long for the party to kick it up to levels rivaling my college days. We had ghosts and mysterious dripping blood on the ceilings, too.
The movie has one of those plots where to summarize it all would be to include spoilers, whether I want to or not. There are a few twists and turns, a little murder among strangers, some weird occurrences that add to the atmosphere of the movie. It was remade in 1999 with heightened effects and some added backstory - a decent effort, but created a mini-franchise that hasn't cast the best light on the original. Two glaring differences: the remake didn't have the "gimmick" and it didn't have Vincent Price.
The "gimmick" was a skeleton that would sail through the theater at just the right moment in the movie, and when you see it, you'll know about when that happens. To today's jaded audiences, it might be hokey, unless you count yourself as a real film fan, in which case it might be quaint or an honest-to-goodness tribute. It's been over 50 years since the original. The reaction it might have elicited then cannot be duplicated now, despite our love for it. Still, I would love to see it in action.
What can I say about Vincent Price that hasn't already been said by countless others? That voice, that delivery, that presence...he is easily one of my favorite actors of all time, and his name will pop up again and again in future installments of this blog. In this, he is one cool cat, equally friendly and treacherous, voicing concern for one character, then coldly insulting his wife the next. His performance, as well as Elisha Cook's, is worth the price of admission. Everything else is just a bonus.
The snow stopped falling, finally. It's going to be a pain to drive in tomorrow. But, I'm thankful it gave me the chance to get reacquainted with an old friend who used to haunt me on various creature features as a kid.
Plus, the snow keeps the zombies away, but that's neither here nor there.
Every so often, you hear about or read about or catch a glimpse of a movie that is full of beans and spunk that if it was a living person, you'd want to party with it. And if you told it you could see the strings supporting its special effects, it would belch in your face then win a bar fight with a broken pool cue. The 1970 drive-in classic Equinox is just such a film. It doesn't care that you can practically taste the stop-motion on the animation. It scoffs at the fact that you can see the strings in special effects shots. When you nervously chuckle that it looks as though it was made like a student film, it suggests you pull its finger.
Truth be told, your assessment of it as a student film wouldn't be far off. Much of the film was originally made in 1967 as a short film project by Dennis Muren (Star Wars fans might recognize his name - he won his first of six Oscars with one), and only cost around $6500. Once it was picked up, film editor Jack Woods (who also plays Officer Asmodeus in the film) was credited with directing the additional parts. It played in drive-ins and on late-night TV for years. It's been said that it has inspired, in part anyway, much of the Evil Dead franchise, and it's not hard to spot the similarities. Finally released in 2006 as part of the Criterion Collection, you now can hold the magic in your hands and lovingly gaze upon it with your own eyes.
Equinox is told mostly in flashback, as four college kids head into the woods for a picnic, and to meet one of their professors, Dr. Watermann (sci-fi author Fritz Leiber). There's a bit of a prologue that shows one survivor scurrying in fear onto a highway before being run down by a driverless car. Before that, it was Dave (Edward Connell), Susan (Barbara Hewitt), Vicki (Robin Christopher), and Jim (Frank Boers, Jr.). You might know Frank Boers, Jr. under a different name: Frank Bonner. You might know Frank Bonner better as this guy:
That's right. Herb. Freakin'. Tarlek. You know, WKRP In Cincinnati.
While wandering around the woods, they find Watermann's cabin demolished and empty. They also see a strange castle on a cliff in the distance, cliffs that are "too steep for the girls to climb" according to Dave. They find a cave and hear distant cackling inside. Eventually running into a bizarre old man, they're put off by his apparent good-natured insanity until he hands them an ancient book. As strange as finding an old cave, a mysterious castle, a skeleton, and a goofy old codger might seem to the rest of us, our brave students take it all in stride by having their picnic. Upon investigating the book, they find that Dr. Watermann has tampered with the forces of evil, engaging in the occult version of "I'll just try a little bit, just to see if I like it." This is part of the reason his cabin is such a mess.
Never let Cthulu borrow your summer place.
Dr. Watermann suddenly appears and tries to steal the book back before falling into a small creek and dying. His body disappears, leaving the students wondering what weirdness will occur next. Not to mention the devil's own Smokey the Bear, Officer Asmodeus, is popping up once in a while with PSA's about clean campsites and not seeing anything unusual.
Things get curiouser and curiouser as Officer Asmodeus attacks Susan with an Evil Make-Out Session, but is chased off by the cross she wears. Knowing certain symbols of good might protect them as they're pursued by the forces of evil who want the book, the four set out to see if they can solve the mystery of this weird tome. Before too long, they meet this guy:
Cloverfield + Dr. Zaius = the Equinox Beast-Ape-Thing
In a surprising upset, they manage to kill the thing before splitting up so they can prepare to leave, and to maybe gather some proof that something weird is going on. Susan loses her cross and starts with the possessed attitude, being all "c'mere, Vicki, I'm going to get evil all over you." Another symbol of good knocks her to her senses and they figure they'd better act fast.
Asmodeus tries to step in where he can, even offering a deal to Jim - all the women, money, and southern Ohio radio sales he can imagine. Okay, maybe not that last thing, but Jim does resist and tries to reunite with the others to make an escape. Dave wants to keep the book to help cure Susan, but Jim wants to leave the book behind. On an open plain where the dimensions cross - the Equinox - they battle a giant...um...something:
In this corner, Andre the Giant meets Grape Ape.
While fighting this big boy, Jim accidentally runs into the barrier separating the worlds of good and evil - yes, that same Equinox - and Dave sprints inside to save his friend. What we know, and what Dave doesn't, is that Jim has already run into Asmodeus and it didn't go well. Dave finds who he thinks is Jim and pulls him out of the parallel world. Jim exhibits strange speech patterns, stiff body language, and bruised eyes, which are apparently signs of evil. Asmodeus reveals himself and beats down Dave before changing into his favorite park ranger persona, then that of a strings-be-damned flying demon:
Soaring onto teens' death metal shirts the world over.
Asmodeus claws his way into Vicki's heart and severely injures Susan before Dave rescues her by forcing a cross into Asmodeus' view. Susan struggles with her dark side as they escape into a cemetery, and take refuge behind a huge cross as Asmodeus explodes against it. Susan apparently dies in the resulting series of supernatural explosions as we now pick up where the prologue started. Dave sees an ominous dark figure that warns him that he'll be dead in "a year and a day." Then, running, driverless car, injured Dave - and we return to the present, back at the loony bin where Dave's been since his brush with the forces of evil.
He loses his cross while having a crazy spell and we find out that it is indeed now exactly a year and a day since Dave was found. The reporter working on the story that required the flashback leaves the screaming Dave behind as another visitor approaches the sanitarium: Susan.
We hear more screaming from Dave as the end title card reminds us that this is "The End...?" Yes, a question mark. Way to punctuate yourself into my heart, movie.
It was like time stopped while watching this movie. I was a kid again, watching old drive-in movies on lazy Saturday summer afternoons. There was no Internet, no message boards, no source of information available to a kid about movies other than a friend saying, "You have to see this, it's AWE-SOME!" It's easy to be influenced by so many sources these days. We've all seen so much, but somewhere along the way - hopefully never lost - is that ability to throw "exacting standards" aside and enjoy something silly and full of hopeful energy.
And that, my friends, is Equinox.
The movie had its little interesting tidbits as well. The Criterion Collection DVD features an introduction by the legendary Forrest J. Ackerman, who is also the voice on the tape recorder interviewing Dave, which leads to the flashbacks. Imagine my surprise when I found that the assistant cameraman was none other than actor, activist, and Spinal Tap drummer, Ed Begley Jr.:
Equinox probably won't be for everyone. It's silly and cheaply-made and absolutely worthy of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. But the filmmakers worked wonderfully with what they had, and the film has that swagger of a friend you know is probably going to get you in trouble but you can't help but love anyway.
Creative spirit, fellow survivors, that's the key. Now go get some popcorn and enjoy.
(First off, a HUGE thank-you to Chuck from Zombies DON'T Run for the sweet new header on the blog - thanks, brother!)
It wasn't exactly a brainstorm, or even a brain light shower, but it came to me this weekend that I'd been craving the old drive-in experience, which I only got to take part in while I was quite young. The drive-in culture, especially during its long boom period, has always fascinated me. Give me a colorful, art-deco facility that shines a variety of grindhouse, horror, action, and comedy made left of center any day. That said, part of my inspiration was the pair of 70's atmospheric horror offerings placed in my mailbox: Let's Scare Jessica To Death and The Legend of Hell House. Each is distinctive in its own way, and could easily be shown as a double feature back in those heady days of disco and mustaches
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Let's start the festivities by scaring said Jessica to death. One statement I would like to make about this movie: Everybody in this movie was weird. And I mean everybody. Now let me add that everybody being weird in a movie is definitely a reason to like it. Why should there be any normalcy in what's happening? It's happening to poor Jessica, and that's the key right there. Sit a spell, and I'll tell you:
In what could absolutely find its origins as a campfire story, Let's Scare Jessica To Death revolves around its titular character Jessica (Zohra Lampert), a fragile young woman who has recently been released from a mental care facility. I found her to be almost child-like with that fragility, and also with the sense of wonder she possessed. She wants to be well and she really tries to find happiness in the little things.
Jessica, her husband and Harvey Pekar lookalike Duncan (Barton Heyman), and owner of a sweet 70's porn 'stache and name Woody (Kevin O'Connor) travel to New England to get a fresh start on life on the sprawling grounds of an old house. No sooner are they on the ferry when the ferryman offers some small-town deadpan weirdness. The fact that the trio drives a hearse around town doesn't endear them to the locals, especially a gang of toughs and ne'er-do-wells who...well, actually don't look a day under 90. And they're all sporting bandages.
It doesn't take long for Jessica - whose inner monologue narrates the film with a spooky, almost deep voice - to start having doubts about her sanity. She sees things, like a mysterious girl in white in a cemetery and someone just hidden from view rocking in a chair on the porch of her new house. Give her credit, though, she maintains a bit of strength. Upon exploring the house, we're treated to a true, spill-your-nachos, "bwaaah!" moment when a strange girl bursts into the room, scaring everyone. Everyone, meet Emily (Mariclare Costello), a hippy-chick who's been squatting in the house when she thought it abandoned. Resident horndog Woody is intrigued.
Emily is accepted into the makeshift family as they settle into the new place. Duncan catches a mole for Jessica to have as a pet. Yeah. You read that right. A pet mole. So wonderfully weird. But things aren't all rainbows and unicorns. Jessica begins to suspect that Duncan has a thing for Emily. The mysterious redhead does have that smoky, understated sexuality that easily drew in Woody, but might be reaching Duncan. Not only that, but Emily's getting weirder and weirder as well. She glides rather than walks, it seems. Her voice is lilting and song-like. Not only that, she looks like the daughter in this strange portrait Jessica finds in the attic, a young lady who drowned in the nearby lake and who was never found. They say she haunts the area as a vampire. Oh, those crazy backwoods myths and legends.
Jessica and Duncan finally meet a friendly face when they sell some antiques to the local dealer, who feels funny buying stuff from the place with such a reputation. Still, he's a nice enough guy. Especially after the couple is harassed by a bunch of hooligans: that same roving gang of bandaged old men. Jessica meets the friendly antique dealer again thanks to the direction of the strange girl in white, who shows her the bloody body of the man in a creek. But by the time Duncan gets there, the body's gone. The girl turns out to be real, however, but mute. She seems to be warning them, but of what?
Jessica's world seems to fall in on itself. Someone kills her mole. She notices scars on the townsfolk. She suspects something is up with Emily. She'd be on target with that one. Emily corners Jessica in the attic for some bizarre, uncomfortable conversation then invites her for a swim, despite Jessica's protests that she's afraid of the water. Rightly so, since she had a run-in with something just under the surface (I'm not the only one freaked out by that). Emily assaults her in the water, leading to that scene you see above this paragraph. Eeeeeerie.
Jessica gets away and locks herself in her room until Duncan returns. But it's not just Duncan. It's Emily, too, and that Roving Gang of Old Guys shuffling towards them in a moment that reminded me of the climax of the creepy film The Sentinel. Everyone's got scars, including Duncan. Emily seems to be leading the festivities, indicating the legend must be real. Mustn't it? Jessica escapes the property after finding Woody riding the tractor with his throat slit. The ferryman - scar and all - won't let Jessica on the ferry, forcing her into the rowboat we saw her in during the opening. Duncan tries to creep onto the boat, but Jessica pounds him with a hook before withdrawing into herself and leaving Emily and the islanders to watch her float away.
Smell ya later, Jessica.
The entire movie has that weird, David Lynchian air to it that something's not quite right, but you can't put your finger on it. Sure, you could say that Jessica is nutty as a Payday bar, but is it really that cut and dried? Just because she's narrating it and it's from her point of view doesn't mean the movie veered into the supernatural. Or maybe it does. Maybe she wasn't crazy after all. That's the beauty of it. You never, never know. It could be in her mind. It could be a real malevolent force has manipulated events from the start.
And that almost industrial score. That only added to the creepy air.
Intermission. Let's all go to the lobby.
The second feature, The Legend of Hell House, was based on a book by Richard Matheson, who is a demigod in the horror and science-fiction genres. Feast your eyes on this writing resume: several episodes of the original "Twilight Zone," I Am Legend, Stir of Echoes, Somewhere In Time (originally Bid Time Return), What Dreams May Come, and many more. So, there's some solid ground in the writing. And look: Roddy McDowall. That's all you need right there.
There's no "I" in teamwork.
The plot moves pretty quickly right off the bat. Dr. Lionel Barrett (Clive Revill), a renowned physicist, is hired by a kooky old rich guy who wants proof that there is something after death. Namely, he wants proof of ghosts. What better place to conduct research than the old mansion the guy bought, the old Belasco place. Better known as Hell House. See, there'd been several investigations there, and none of them ended well. Barrett's a stuffed-shirt realist, so he cares more about the cash he'll get than the reputation of Hell House. He's saddled with a team that consists of his wife, Ann (Gayle Hunnicutt), a mental medium named Florence Tanner (Pamela Franklin), and a physical medium, Ben Fischer (McDowall) who is the only survivor of a failed research team. Barrett wants to get an opportunity to use his special machine, but it isn't quite ready yet.
Weird things happen right away. Recordings play on their own, Florence can't go into the chapel, things move on their own. Barrett is attacked by something at dinner and nearly killed. Florence wants to reach out to it, and does during a seance. She takes on the voice of something in the house - not much creepier than a woman talking in low, demonic tones (thanks, The Exorcist) - and seems to connect with what might be the son of the patriarch of the house. Fischer, however, wants no part of the whole thing. He's closed his mind off and only wants to collect the money from being there.
Ann has a few naughty dreams and tries to seduce Fischer at one point, but it appears to be a surface possession. She's slapped back to reality and runs in shame, but of course her husband sees the whole scene and is none too pleased.
Later, exploring the house to find more clues to this Daniel Belasco spirit, the party finds a body chained up in a wall. They're convinced it's Daniel, so they bury his bones with a proper funeral to lay it to rest. That should do it. Wait, this movie's not 45 minutes long, is it? Nope. The voices continue, the weird ambiance still heavy in the house. Florence does battle with a possessed black cat (in a scene parodied in Scary Movie 2) which leaves her bloody and scratched. Thinking it might help - and in certain genres, I'm sure it would - Florence later allows the spirit of Daniel into her bed. Yeah, you get my drift. It doesn't really go well. Florence survives the experience, but that knowing grin spells possession.
Now, during all this, Barrett's machine arrives. As he explains it, the device is designed to absorb all the ambient energy in the house. And, as spirits are pure energy, he is confident the forces tormenting them - forces he doesn't really believe in - will be nullified. In a last ditch effort, the Daniel-possessed Florence tries to smash the machine, but is subdued. Barrett gets the machine running and Florence runs to the chapel to face the demons there. In the chaos, the huge crucifix collapses on her. Before she dies, she traces the letter "B" in blood.
Fischer, finally letting his mind open up, declares the house free. There is no more presence, so he says. It can't really be that easy, could it? You better believe it's not. Barrett is soon attacked and killed off-screen, and Fischer sports a pair and decides to face the remaining entity head-on. Let me just say that Roddy McDowall is badass here. He taunts the spirit, who we now definitely know to be the original Belasco, a perverted possible mass murderer whose ghost really doesn't like visitors.
Fischer battles the entity on a mental level, and like a budding superhero, beats the evil force back. A hidden door is found in the chapel and inside, they find Belasco himself. Well, after his taxidermist had gotten to him. A perfectly preserved body (Michael Gough in an uncredited role) is there, and Fischer figures it all out. Belasco was a stunted man who hated his lack of height, so he had his legs replaced by prosthetics to give him perceived power. The room where he sits is lead-lined, preventing Barrett's machine from reaching him in some deranged genius foresight. Leaving, Fischer activates the machine one more time to ensure the place is clean as the credits roll.
Wild camera angles, strange heavy atmospheres, odd voices. The setting is off-putting since the house's windows are bricked over and the only way you know the time of day is through the time stamp that appears as events occur. It's a Technicolor suspense horror drama perfectly made for making out at going to the drive-in. The acting is juicy without being overdone. Roddy McDowall is surprisingly understated, at least until the end. Then he cuts loose as only he can, and he's actually badass. It's a ripping good yarn with a steady pace and a creepy ambiance.
Two more things:
One charming thing I love about 70's horror movies is the way the title appears over an opening scene. No elaborate title sequences, sometimes no theme music. Just *snap* there's the title and *snap* it's gone. Examples:
I don't know. I just love it.
And the second thing was during The Legend of Hell House, as the team arrives at the Belasco mansion, I couldn't help but think of the fake trailer of Don't that aired during Grindhouse and was directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead). The rest of the movie had elements that may have inspired Wright's fake trailer, but when they first arrive at the gate in the fog, it reminded me of Wright's version.
So as I go, please enjoy the fake trailer so you can spot the references when you watch The Legend of Hell House. Thanks for reading and don't let the moaning of the undead get to you.
House on Haunted Hill came along during a time when gimmicks were called "gimmicks," and not "viral advertising." I admit that a lot of today's viral tricks and such can be quite creative: fake websites (Cloverfield), vinyl albums by a fake band (Fringe), and countless others. But back in the 50's, you couldn't just jump on the Internet. Computers were the size of rooms anyway. Legendary producer-director William Castle took what can be classified as a simple locked-room murder mystery, added some supernatural touches, created a classic gimmick for the film, and made it on a shoestring budget. Castle's been called a king of B-movies, but he made quality films full of meat and substance.
