Let's Get 2013 Rolling Here

You know, one of my New Year's resolutions was to pay more attention this poor blog and to my other blog about comics, Born In The Silver Age.

Now - 15 whole days after 2013 starts - I finally get around to writing my annual year-end entry.  Ah, well.  Guess I'll have to practice being a little more timely.

First and foremost:  thank you to all of you who read, enjoy, are entertained, and don't steal my words.  I write this blog for fun and to keep the writing wheels juiced and I hope you get some fun out of it as well.

I had the pleasure of watching some really crazy, really insane, and in some cases, really great horror films in 2012.  Every year, I like to make a list of the ten movies I enjoyed reviewing.  They don't have to be films that were made that year, just ones that I reviewed. during the year.  I also like to throw in some classics and short films as extras just to spread the love.

But hey, let's get to my list.  Here they are, in no particular order, the horror films I enjoyed reviewing the most in 2012:

The Inkeepers - Atmospheric to the point where the setting is a character in itself, a Ti West specialty.  A great little closed-door haunted mystery with some solid acting and chills.  It's a quiet, slow burn that leaves you clues to how you see the ending.

The Cabin In The Woods - The horror movie equivalent to riding a rollercoaster backward after drinking five Red Bulls and staying up all night. Like I say in my review, I can't begin to get into this utterly insane, madcap love letter to the horror genre without revealing a lot, so just see it and try to keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

Behind The Mask:  The Rise of Leslie Vernon - Another in the "insane" category, this leaps from fake documentary to get-out-of-the-house classic horror with expert delicacy.  You really can't take your eyes off this story of an up-and-comer in a world where all the classic slasher villains exist as inspiration to young Leslie.  Funny, clever, and scary, just like Mr. Vernon.

The Pact - I'm a huge fan of atmosphere and, if you want to get technical, the use of space in the frame of the movie screen.  The Pact delivers on those in a big way.  Twists and turns, and a stellar performance by Caity Lotz (and a really good showing from Casper Van Dien), made this quiet little film a favorite among some of us humble horror folk.

[REC]3: Genesis - As well as being a fan of atmosphere, I love a little insanity, as you can tell.  A real departure from the other installments in one of my favorite franchises, this chapter leans more of the wacky as we're privy to what happens when the disease ravages a wedding party and what the lovers will do to reunite.

The Loved Ones - Probably one of my favorites this past year was this Australian gem.  Utterly outstanding performances and a plot that dances like that slick kid that wasn't from your school but knew all the "big city" moves.  I haven't cheered this hard for a horror protagonist in ages, and that speaks to the cast and crew of this wild flick.

Vampires - I'm not huge on vampires, but this Belgian horror-comedy about a dysfunctional vampire family trying to maintain its status among the elite of its neighborhood really grew on me.  Another fake documentary, it had interesting characters who forge their own paths through an odd and sometimes goofy dynamic laced with real scenes of horror.

Kill List - Oh, this one had both of those things I mentioned:  atmosphere and copious amounts of crazy, albeit on a more "slow burn" level.  And then some.  What starts as a "hitman out for one final job" road picture turns into something entirely different.  By the end, you're saying "What.  The.  Hell?"  A great buildup of tension leads to that "did I just see that?" ending.

Lovely Molly - Gretchen Lodge is so good in this movie, you're then surprised to learn how little acting she had done before it.  She carries this movie like a Heisman Trophy winner as a young woman left to her own devices in her childhood home, haunted by memories and...something else?  Very strange, with that performance by Lodge making one hope she gets more roles.

Rare Imports: A Christmas Tale - The last movie I reviewed in 2012 turned out to be a real treat.  An import from Finland, it explores a more pagan Santa Claus myth with gorgeous scenery and one of the smartest and bravest kids ever in a horror film.  The movie is strange and spooky, but with a nod and a wink...just like old Saint Nick.

And one classic film that I must mention:

The Thing (1982) - It was about time that I reviewed this wonderful John Carpenter film.   Claustrophobic, stark, and utterly terrifying, it's got so many levels and stories within stories.  It bears repeat viewings.  And honestly, I didn't dislike the prequel of the same name.

And one short film:

Exit 7A - What a simple, straightforward, entertaining short in the same vein as Twilight Zone and with a kind of ongoing story potential that could sustain a series based on the premise and certain characters.  I like being sent short films that I really enjoy, and this was definitely one of them.

And one so-incredibly-bad-it's-incredibly tremendous-film:

Troll 2 - Yep, I finally saw this...film.  It is EVERYTHING I wanted it to be and more.  It's something that truly must be experienced at least once in a lifetime.  It also led to one of my favorite reviews to write.

Some honorable mentions: Absentia, The Woman In Black, We Need To Talk About Kevin, The Caller, and V/H/S.

Again, I thank everyone for reading as this little blog heads towards its fourth year.  Hopefully, I'll have some new things to spice up the old place and provide some more of my words and thoughts.

Happy New Year!

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Be Nice To That Mall Santa

You see Santa Claus everywhere this time of year.  The old guy's fixture in malls, town squares, television shows...hey, I've even played the joyful old elf.  The modern version tends to be a gentle soul but what if he wasn't always that way?  Much like many legends, what if Santa had a darker past?

Directed by Jalmari Helander, the Finnish film Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale explores the older, scarier version of Santa seen in European legends.  I mean, hey, the Dutch version is a good guy, but he also beats naughty kids with a willow stick.  He also arrives by a steamboat from Spain, so you can also see Santa's a little different wherever you go.  I saved watching this film until this time of year, but hoped it wouldn't be too dark or mean-spirited; I just haven't been in that kind of mood lately.  What I got was a beautifully-filmed, fun little movie with a smart protagonist and an interesting twist on the Kris Kringle mythos.

An American-funded excavation on a lonely mountain near a small Finnish village uncovers something strange:  a layer of sawdust surrounding a larger area buried deep within the hill.  It's not a natural mountain after all, they figure.  It's a burial mound.  Young Pietari and his older friend Jusso overhear the conversation, and it shakes Pietari.  He researches the Santa Claus myth to discover a belief in a monstrous creature that punishes naughty children in pretty un-holiday-ish ways.  This is what he thinks is there, but no one believes him.  When the highly-anticipated reindeer harvest - the main way the town earns its revenue - yields only a handful of animals, an investigation quickly turns up over 400 slaughtered and eaten reindeer.  Pietari's dad, Rauno, joins the others in believing it was a pack of wolves being forced onto their land by the mountain excavation - which has recently gone oddly silent.  Pietatri knows what's up.  The kid's pretty smart and he recalls a local legend of "Santa" being captured and buried by a local tribe ages ago.

Shortly, Rauno captures a strange, naked old man in one of his traps and, thinking him dead, prepares to get rid of the body.  Oddly, the old man is still alive and soon recovers from his wounds.  Pietari sees him and proclaims that this is the Santa Claus that's been buried in the mountain.  But things are, shall we say, less than festive.  Kids have disappeared from the village, as well as heating elements like ranges and hair dryers.  The old man bites off a villager's ear and is in the possession of items from the now-abandoned excavation, including a radio.  Hoping to swap "Santa" for the money lost from the slaughtered reindeer, Rauno concocts a plan that just might work...except the exchange reveals that not everything is as it seems, and that's when the snow hits the fan.

Nope, not going to tell you how it ends.  Things get even weirder, and young Pietari demonstrates why he's the smartest, bravest kid in the room.  It's a bizarre tale, to be sure, but it's actually short on scares.  That's not a bad thing - it's meant to be more of a Christmas-time adventure, really.  The countryside of Finland is a character unto itself, gorgeous mountains and snow-blanketed land are featured pretty prominently.  The characters are fairly basic, but again, not a bad thing.  The true focus of the movie is idealistic and smart Pietari.  We see most of everything through his eyes, including his strained relationship with his father and his belief in the old legends.  He believes he's naughty because of clipping a hole in a fence (that he thinks let in wolves) but he's truly the top of the nice list.

So if you want something a little more bizarre, yet not totally nihilistic, for your holiday horror viewing, you might have fun with this truly twisted Christmas tale that will make you think twice about making fun of that Santa you see in the mall.

Until next time, everyone, have a wonderful holiday and be sure to treat each other well!

Now watch the hilarious, tongue-firmly-in-cheek trailer!

Lovely Molly (2011) Not-So-Happy Homecoming

A few years ago, I went back to the house in which I grew up.  It had literally been 20 years since I set foot in there, and the people who live there now were kind enough to let me come in and take some pictures - they knew my family anyway, so that made it easier.  If there were ghosts in that house on the lake, they were friendly and welcoming.

Let's just say that the homecoming Molly receives in Lovely Molly isn't exactly friendly and welcoming.

Directed by one of the co-creators of The Blair Witch Project, Eduardo Sanchéz (who also shares writing duties with Jamie Nash), Lovely Molly is one of those quietly terrifying films that stick with you after you've watched it, as you try to decipher the code left by the filmmakers.  Not everything is clear-cut, and yet the answers are there, depending on how you see them.  While the movie isn't perfect, the underlying story and the incredible acting help make it one to at least check out.

Newlyweds Molly (Gretchen Lodge) and Tim (Johnny Lewis, shortly before his death) move into Molly's childhood home, not far from her more grounded sister Hannah (Alexandra Holden).  It's a spooky old place, and former heroin addict Molly has a rough go of staying there alone while Tim out on the road as a truck driver. One night, Molly hears crying coming from a lonely closet.  We never see what she sees, but from there, it's all downhill for poor Molly.  Her behavior becomes increasingly strange.  She gets back on the "horse," so to speak.  She swears to her sister that their father is still alive and once again assaulting her, although no one ever sees him.  Film evidence shows nothing and Molly retreats into a drug-addled, fugue state that sees her wandering at night, having problems at work, and making lewd advances on the local pastor.  Oh, and something about a deer.  You'll see.  Things spiral out of control until the odd, subjective ending.

The film is undeniably creepy, with many of the scares coming during night scenes and when Molly is alone.  Is Molly being haunted by her evil father from beyond the grave?  You will have to decide as the end credits roll.  There are multiple interpretations, and a good deal of them make perfect sense.  The acting is tremendous, with Lodge as the focal point.  With little film experience, she masterfully conveys happiness, familiarity, rage, fear, and something quite spooky all within the runtime.  Holden is great as her sister, and Lewis shows just how much talent was wasted with his sad, short life.  The answers to the film are not all there, but it still stands as a pretty decent outing - despite one sort-of "what-the" scene.  I won't spoil it, but I did say "what the?" out loud during it.

So you want to visit your childhood home?  Just make sure it doesn't involve creepy sounds and horse imagery...unless you lived on a ranch.  Even still...

Here, enjoy the trailer:

Chernobyl Diaries (2012) Needed More Radioactivity

Because of my fascination with abandoned places - thanks to an excursion I once made to an abandoned mental health facility in Detroit during the 80's - I have had a particular interest in the former Soviet working city, Pripyat.  Where did those who lived in Pripyat work?  Why, Chernobyl, of course.  Yeah, that Chernobyl.  I look at pictures of the empty streets, desolate buildings, and overgrown parks, and I feel my creative side bubbling:  what ghosts linger there?  Who or what calls it home now?

The 2012 American horror film Chernobyl Diaries attempts to answer that for us.  Directed by Bradley Parker and written by Carey Van Dyke and Oren Peli (one of the creators of the Paranormal Activity franchise), it tells what could have been a great "what if" story.  For me, though, it fell a little short - it provided some decent quick thrills and really great atmosphere, but in the end, I just didn't feel it.  I love the abandoned city setting but couldn't latch onto anything the movie offered.

The premise is good and simple:  Chris (former pop star Jesse McCartney), his girlfriend Natalie (Olivia Taylor Dudley), and their friend Amanda (Devin Kelley) meet up with Chris' wilder and more affluent brother Paul (Jonathan Sadowski) in the Ukraine before heading to Moscow, where Chris wants to propose to Natalie.  Paul talks the gang into taking a day tour to the ghost city of Pripyat, and they are joined by former Spetnaz tour guide Yuri (Dimitri Diatchenko) and another couple, Zoe (Ingrid Bolso Berdal) and Michael (Nathan Phillips).  The day goes well until they return to the van, which has been rendered inoperable.  Night falls, and since the woods are filled with hungry wolves, dogs, and bears, the group stays in the van until strange noises sound in the night.  Things go from bad to really bad when Yuri and Chris head out to investigate, and only Chris comes back sporting a spanking new bleeding leg.  Oh, and Yuri's gone.  The group is determined to leave, but is met with severe disappointment at every turn.  And by "disappointment," I mean a pack of wild dogs, no radios, nightfall, and something worse on two legs.  The next night brings the group up against something that has been stalking them from the get-go and things go from really bad to "why did we agree to do this damn tour?"

Like I said, I loved the setting.  It was, to me, the best part of the film.  Pripyat is eerie and quiet, historically tragic and intensely interesting.  The idea of something lurking in the dark among all those empty buildings is very appealing to me.  However, I didn't feel a connection to any of the characters, even with the odds they were up against.  Paul, tortured over what he feels is his responsibility, came pretty close as he aches over what his brother is going through.  I really liked Yuri, too.  You get a sense he's pretty bad-ass, and isn't the stereotypical "gonna take advantage of these silly Americans" sort of Eastern European character.  He genuinely just wants to show them a good time.

In Chernobyl Diaries, sadly nothing really popped or crackled for me, and while it had a few chills and spills, it didn't really do much for me although it was a decent shot at the "from bad to worse" theme.  Not a bad film, but it could've been much, much more.

So, dear readers, if you get the chance to explore Pripyat - which apparently one can do with the right connections and the understanding of a short visit to the irradiated ex-city - make sure the van you're in works and that in case it doesn't, you bring some doggies treats for distraction.

Check out the trailer:

Grave Encounters 2 (2012) Going Off The Rails

When I saw the original Grave Encounters, I had low expectations.  I hoped I would like it, but I wasn't going to be shocked if I didn't.  Turns out I did like it.  It both paid homage to and made fun of the slew of paranormal investigation shows all over our televisions.  Now when I learned of a sequel, I set the bar a little higher.  It might be another round of some fun found-footage shenanigans.  Did it exceed expectations again?

The answer comes in two halves:  First half (maybe two-thirds) of the movie was creative and intriguing metafiction.  After that, though, it was like the train ran right off the rails.

To recap the first film as briefly as I can, and in case you don't want to click over to my review of it, a team of paranormal investigators enter an old asylum to film an episode of their show, Grave Encounters.  As the viewer, we watch the final hours of the team as they fall to the terrifying power of an evil location.  Jump forward a year (nine years in the film series), and we have a new film written by original creators The Vicious Brothers and directed by John Poliquin.  We have a whole new group of cannon fodder film production people ready to be the next to wander smartly into an abandoned asylum.

Yeah, that graffiti should be a HUGE red flag, there, buddy.

After film student Alex Wright (not the old WCW wrestler) posts a scathing review of the original Grave Encounters, he begins receiving e-mails and videos from someone known only as "deathawaits6."  Much to the concern of his friends, he becomes obsessed with the original hospital (the name of which is bleeped out).  So much so, that he eventually uncovers evidence that the original cast did indeed disappear and makes meticulous plans to make the ultimate documentary.  Alex convinces the others to head to the location and meet "deathawaits6," who promises to provide all the information they need.  As with the first film, and as you may well have guessed, things don't go very well once they're inside.  The film students are menaced in frightening, hyperactive ways along with a new twist on the first movie's "the place won't let us leave" atmosphere.  When the kids end up in an underground hallway - the same one set at the end of the first film - Grave Encounters 2 becomes like a speeding car hitting a patch of ice on a wintry highway.  The rest of the film - which I promise I won't spoil in case you'd like to watch it - careens off in a whole different direction that frankly didn't catch my fancy.

I really like metafiction - stories about stories - and the first part of Grave Encounters 2 was a clever example of the self-aware quality of the difficult genre.  Even the little things, such as video bloggers in the beginning completely trashing the first movie, were quite funny and gave the audience a little nod-and-wink.  When the pace and the story took off in the strange direction it did, I felt somewhat disappointed.  It was like they added elements that weren't really needed - elements that actually would have worked much better if left to our imagination, in my little opinion.

If the film had maintained the air of just-out-of-sight mystery along with frequent kinetic thrills, I would have liked it even more.  Definitely not the worst I've ever seen, but I really hoped for more.

Until next time, my dear readers, have a look at the trailer and try to not to get curious if some anonymous person sends you videos, inviting you to check their "awesome" asylum...

The Loved Ones (2009) Proms Sure Have Changed

I remember prom. It was senior year, 1985, northern Michigan. I wore a white tux and went with a friend of mine out to dinner, some nice dancing, and that was pretty much it. Nothing spectacular and nothing dramatic. Just a plain old good time. She didn't kidnap me and inject bleach into my voice box or anything. I'm pretty sure of that.

The prom featured in Sean Byrne's 2009 horror trip The Loved Ones is a far cry from the one I remember, and a far cry from those cheesy 80's coming-of-age raunchy teen comedy versions of proms.  This one is disturbing, insane, and white-knuckle-inducing.  Although it was released in Australia in 2009, it's finally been distributed on our shores, and it was well worth the wait.  Sure, the high school prom has figured heavily into horror over the years, in films like Prom Night and Carrie.  But The Loved Ones turns it on its ear somewhat and gives the setting a fresh new take.

Brent (Xavier Samuel) is having a rough year, to say the least.  His father died in a horrible accident when Brent swerved to avoid hitting someone in the middle of the road (an incident that is more important than you think).  His mother blames him - in a roundabout way - and spends each day in a depressed haze.  The only bright spot, other than his goofy best friend, is his girlfriend, Holly (Victoria Thaine).  She's good to him, and truly loves the morose kid.  Brent seems popular, because he's also asked to prom by shy, demure Lola (Robin McLeavy).  He politely declines, and she seems hurt.  While on a walk and a climb, Brent just wants to clear his muddled mind.  It's here that his world changes...well, significantly.

Waking up from a chloroform nap, Brent finds himself tied to a chair while Lola and her deranged, wild-eyed father recreate their own twisted prom.  And believe me, "twisted" is a severe, severe understatement.  Turns out Lola isn't so demure after all.  She wants a perfect prom, and she will do anything to get it.  Her father, in turn, will do anything for his baby girl.  Brent, muted by a shot of bleach to the voice box, is thrust deeper and deeper into a depraved, sadistic night that involves sharp objects, power tools, and pure desperation.

I'm not going to go any further with the synopsis because it's really something you'd need to see for yourself.  It's a high-energy downward spiral with incredible acting, a crackling script, and directing that keeps everything going non-stop start to finish.  Byrne has set the bar high for himself, and the acting from Samuel, McLeavy, and John Brumpton (the father) is top-of-the-line.  I don't recall ever cheering so much for a protagonist to escape his predicament like I did for Samuel's Brent.  I mean, escape becomes increasingly impossible as Lola and her pops get increasingly brutal.  McLeavy plays crazy so well, and Samuel does an excellent job with no words for the entire ordeal.

The Loved Ones had a lot of build-up amongst the horror community, and it's well-deserved.  If you have the stomach for it, it's a film any horror fan shouldn't miss and one of the better ones I've had the pleasure to review this year.  And, oh, the music...chilling...brrr....

So, enjoy your prom, and just be glad you didn't have to spend it with Lola and her family.  You'd have to hide the bleach and the power drill...

Vampires (2010) They Can Be Dysfunctional, Too

I'm not big on vampires. It's not that I don't see their value in the history of horror film and literature. I like a lot of vampire mythos. I think it's because they've been unjustly thrust into a new segment of pop culture. You know what I'm talking about. It involves sparkling and brooding, and it shall not be mentioned here. I prefer the horrifying portrayals of the bloodsuckers like Salem's Lot or 30 Days of Night or the fangless biters in Near Dark.  Hey...maybe I am big on vampires after all.

While I love for my vampires to be scary, if they can be presented as funny in the same vein...ha!  Vein!  Get it?  Anyway, if they can be presented as scary and funny, that would intrigue me.  A film falling in that category comes to our shores from Belgium, as writer/director Vincent Lannoo brings us Vampires (not to be confused with the 1998 John Carpenter film of the same name).

Filmed in "faux documentary" style, Vampires is the apparent third attempt by a documentary filmmaker to record the daily lives of affluent vampire families in Belgium.  The first two film crews didn't quite make it, but an understanding allows the director to settle in with a friendly albeit dysfunctional vampire family. They're the average vampire family with a bit of money and prestige.  They enjoy meals provided by their "meat," a runaway former prostitute who willingly offers her blood for their dinner.  They have a couple older vampires who live in the basement, disgraced by their lack of children.  There are strict rules for vampire families, including the "children equal prestige" rule.  Thanks to these rules, vampires exist - albeit with some disdain - alongside humans, several of whom aid in their fanged neighbors.  Georges, the head of the family, is married to the flighty Bertha with which he has two children - who are likely not actual relatives.  Sampson, the older brother, is rebellious and impetuous.  He's also getting down and dirty with the community leader's wife, a huge taboo despite the fact that otherwise, vampires can pretty much do the squelchy with anyone they wish.  And I do mean anyone.  The daughter, Grace, longs to live and die as a human to the point of wearing pink, having a human boyfriend, and practicing suicide so that she can even pretend to feel like she's dying.

The documentary crew follows the nightly life of the vampire family, and their normal is quite literally the flip side of our normal, despite the common ground of family dysfunction.  Things grow complicated when Sampson is caught messing around with the wife of the leader (who himself is an old vampire soul in a 12-year-old body).  Facing execution by sunlight, Sampson arranges for his family to flee to Canada, which they view as below their station.  As they adjust to their new life, some enjoy it more than others.  Georges is miserable and Sampson loves singing songs for money and dating a Canadian human.  The most intriguing and most poignant storyline involves Grace, as she falls "ill."  Her final fate is both silent and quite moving.

I wasn't expecting a darkly funny film with its own mythology - the "rules" - but I found myself enjoying Vampires quite a bit.  The actors playing the toothy family pull off the myriad of personalities with skill, behaving and sounding a lot like a typical family.  Only with more bloodshed.  There are genuinely funny scenes, such as when Sampson gushes about his new life in Canada.  Some horrific scenes as well, such as when the vampire society has a "dinner party."  And as I mentioned, the most poignant and heartfelt scene involves young Grace as her fate is revealed.

Sure, I'm not someone who's much into vampires - I seem to be more of a zombie/ghost/possession kind of horror fan.  But I'm open to anything good.  I thought Vampires was good.  The only real issue I had with the film was how abruptly it ended, as if the filmmakers had a deadline they realized with twenty minutes to go and decided to trim about fifteen minutes from that.  Other than that, the comedy and horror mix subtly and it plays like an informative documentary about family life.  Or un-life.

Until next time, dear readers, just be careful if you're backpacking in Europe and someone invites you to their brownstone for a bite.  The old joke might come true...