Dead Alive (aka Braindead) (1992) Early Peter Jackson Insanity

A Sumatran rat-monkey.  A domineering mother-monster.  A kung-fu priest.  A delinquent's entrails that have a life of their own.  A cheery demon baby.  A lawnmower shield.

All this and lots more is what you'll find in one of Peter Jackson's early films, the energetic cult classic known as Dead Alive here on our side of the world, and Braindead everywhere else.  You may know Jackson as the high-powered director behind the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies of recent years.  He's won Academy Awards, produced several huge hits, and is generally one of the most well-known directors in the modern era.  But before all that, Jackson cut his teeth on wacky, blood-splattered craziness like this movie, or his first feature film, Bad Taste.  This was the first Peter Jackson movie I ever saw, and it remains near and dear to my heart.

Taking place in Jackson's native New Zealand during the 50's, the story follows sad-sack mama's boy Lionel (Timothy Balme) as he balances falling for a local gypsy girl, Paquita (Diana Peñalver), and following his mean mom's wishes and commands.  When mommy dearest is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey and dies, things get a little bit crazy.  Old Vera reanimates as a blood-crazed zombie, turning a gang of ne'er-do-wells and her own nurse into ghouls like her.  Even the local priest, who put the beatdown on the zombie gang while delivering one of the best lines of dialogue ever ("I kick ass for the LORD!"), is eventually turned as well.  Poor Lionel has to keep the monsters hidden in his basement and deal with his lecherous Uncle Les, who wants the house for himself.  Before long, Les throws a rockin' party and Lionel tries to sever ties with his mother by using what he thinks is poison to kill her once and for all.  Unfortunately, the poison turns out to be what equates to super-steroids for animals and the zombie outbreak is seriously on.  The party degenerates into one of THE most gory, insane, and manic sequences in the history of film.  Seriously, Dead Alive is still considered one of the goriest movies ever made.

Still, the gore is played for laughs, and after a while, it becomes less "gore" and more "slapstick."  All those weird things I mentioned in the beginning are there.  What happens when two infected zombies have "relations"?  A demon baby that Lionel actually takes for a day out in a way to return to normalcy. 

Balme's Lionel is a hero who grows through the movie, and it's not hard to cheer for the guy.  Paquita gives him enough confidence to cut the umbilical cord...among a few other things.  The movie is absolutely in-your-face, wild, and energetic with kinetic camera angles, quick editing, and a narrative that never slows down.

Dead Alive is a favorite among horror fans, always thought of with a smile or a chuckle.  It's definitely horror, but the comedy shines through alongside its darker genre cousin seamlessly.  If you have a weak stomach, yeah, you might have a little trouble with things like Lionel's lawnmower shield among many other things.  But the movie's hilarious and drive-in-style fun, as well as being a bit of a history lesson about one of the world's top directors.

Until next time, don't visit the Sumatran rat-monkey at your local zoo...

Stitches (2012) A Party Clown's Revenge

I like it when a movie surprises me.

Sometimes late at night, I roll through Netflix and see what's out in the ether.  Stumbling across this oddball British-Irish horror comedy about an undead clown seeking revenge on a kid after being killed at a birthday party, I really wasn't expecting much.  But strangely enough, I ended up pleasantly surprised by the gory slapstick intentional cheese-fest that was Stitches.

Director Conor McMahon seems to be following the Peter Jackson path of starting off a career by turning grant money into bloody splashes of manic-comic theater.  You see a little inspiration from Jackson's early offerings like Bad Taste and Dead Alive, where over-the-top gore leans more toward the humorous.  Stitches doesn't take itself too seriously, offering up a wild premise, stereotypical-and-we-know-it characters, and circus-themed dispatching of those characters.

So it goes like this:  Stitches (comedian Ross Noble in his film debut) is a local clown hired to perform at young Tom's birthday party.  Tom isn't such a bad kid, but his friends range from somewhat to extremely obnoxious.  They taunt Stitches who, admittedly, isn't a very good clown.  The taunting takes a tragic turn when an accident the kids cause leaves Stitches with a huge kitchen knife through his eye into his skull.  The night of Stitches' funeral, Tom stumbles across a strange ritual as clowns honor their comrade.  Years later, it's Tom's (Tommy Knight of The Sarah Jane Adventures) 17th birthday, and he has a pretty understandable fear of clowns.  He's anxious and rather wimpy but his friends want to throw him a blowout, even though he's unsure.  The party includes all his friends from the original party, as well as his longtime crush, Kate (Gemma Leigh Devereux).  Before too long, though, an unwanted party guest makes his grand return:  Stitches, resurrected by some strange magic the clown cult instilled.  Stitches arrives and takes out each of the teenage partygoers from years before in sickeningly creative and often hilarious ways.  Brain scoop, balloon pump, umbrella - so weird, yet so Peter Jackson-ish.  It's then up to Tom and Kate to figure out a way to send Stitches back to Hell - or wherever undead clowns go.

Stitches is a rousing debut for Noble, who nails it in his first film.  He's snappy and slovenly, spouting 80's-style one-liners usually associated with supernatural killers.  "He had to...head off." "Now that's...food for thought."  Stitches is a killer clown, to be sure, and we've seen many of those, good ones and not-so-good.  But obviously, this film doesn't take things too seriously and just wants to tell a funny, wildly splattered tale of redemption for one kid and the ability to make intestine balloon animals for one not-quite-dead clown.

So make sure you treat that clown at a kid's party right.  Put away those knives and don't let your kids be obnoxious.

Until next time, here's the trailer: